Suspision Without Suspense
Mood:  hug me


Ever thought your significant other, who you just happened to be in love with, was about to break up with you? Well, as Amanda Bynes used to say on Nickelodeon's "All That", "thaaaaaaaat's me!"

Yes, I am - once again - having doubts about Anthony and myself. I just don't feel the affection and adoration and infatuation I recieved in the beginning of our relationship (and God knows I try my damndest to make him feel special, because I do love that boy with all of my heart and I would surely and most definitely fall apart without him). And I know he doesn't love me; he told me he didn't. Which sucks, because I, of course, am SO much in love with him. Maybe that sucks even more because I told him how I felt, like, much too early in the relationship.

To be fair, though, we have been going out for four months. The "fire in the loins" bit that runs so rampantly through the beginning of a relationship pretty much always dies down around three or four months, right? RIGHT? Oh, I feel like we're an old married couple. No, it's worse than that; we are on two different levels, my Anthony and I. He probably does not detect the slightest hint of a problem in our relationship (if I can call it that, considering the fact that lately there have been NO relations, if you know what I mean, and NOT due to lack of interest on my part). I, on the other hand, am the yang to his peaceful, inner yin; I worry about absolutely EVERYTHING. He says I'm going to give myself a heart attack when I'm twenty. I wouldn't be surprised. Which (somehow) leads me back to my (not quite) original question: Are Anthony and I just an old married couple, all shit out of luck and drained of passion?

Old and married or not, I have a feeling I'll soon be single. He's going to dump me, I know it.